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- HWL World Heavyweight Championship - Tommaso Ciampa vs. Joey Ryan
- HWL Women's Championship - Triple Threat Elimination Match - Lacey Evans vs. Kelly Klein vs. Nikki Cross
- HWL Tag Team Championship - The Goodbrothers vs. The B Team
- HWL Cruiserweight Championship - PAC vs. Austin Aries
- The Hung Bucks (Young Bucks & Hangman Page) vs. Villain Enterprises (Marty Scurll, PCO & Brody King)
- Triple Threat Match - Seth Rollins vs. Kenny Omega vs. AJ Styles
- Charlotte Flair vs. Rhea Ripley
- Guerillas of Destiny vs. Lucha Bros
Have at it.
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"The Lady of HWL" Lacey Evans
One Lady, One nasty this barely anyone knows, and a nasty who can, strike that, is plain crazy. First up, Ms. Kelly, the Nasty who defeated Charlotte Flair, how? No one knows Because Charlotte is a real Lady and someone who should have ran over you like a Fly hitting a windshield at sixty-five miles per hour, Someone who doesnt even deserve to stand in a wrestling ring with the likes of me and even Nikki Cross, you beating Charlotte is a disgrace, and the fact that you are even in this match to be considered the first HWL Womens Championship is beyond disgusting, you're the type of person that even Tom from Myspace would unfriend, and Honey when you, Nikki and I meet for that Championship Its basically between Myself and Nikki because to me you are a non-entity and your chances of becoming champion will be dashed...
But Nikki darling, you are out of the woods yet, you're always yelling and hollering about Playing with you, Honey let me tell you something, This lady here does just play, she fights, and when the Two of us and the other one enter the ring for the Championship, not to sound so cliche but Playtime will be over, because Since day One I was zeroed in on one thing and one thing only and that is becoming the HWL Womens Champion, Paige already had to learn the hard way that when a Lady and a Nasty come face to face and I sent her packing all the way back to the arms of Woods and Maddox...
Everything I have worked for has come to this moment,Nikki for a nasty who is crazy I will admit you can go when you need to go, but its not going to be enough to stop a lady, and Kelly...
:Scoffs:
This lady's waist is missing the perfect accessory and you two are standing in the way,and soon enough I will have it.
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:The Camera shows Joey Ryan in his locker room,there is a bulletin board with the faces of Bully Ray and Brian Cage with a sticker of a penis over their face, Joey then kicks his feet up and places a sucker in his mouth:
"The King of Dong Style" Joey Ryan
Two down, and One to Go. Brian Cage, Big Boy I got to say, You almost had me, but so close yet so far and I am one Match away from being the HWL World Heavyweight Champion. When HWL announced its comeback, I was the first man through the door and I said I was going to be Champion and now I am one match away and the one man that stands in my way is Tomasso Ci..Whoa look at all those contestants...Lets just call you TC, TC I have seen your work, its good, I have to admit TC I like what I see in the ring, in some alternate world we could have been some strange Tag Team, but, I digress. TC, I went trough two big names to get to you, I went through a Hall of Famer, and went through one of Lucha Undergrounds biggest stars to get to you, and TC if they could stop me, I have one question for you? What makes you think you are?
I have called my shot since I walked into the doors of this place, and a week from Saturday, I am going to blow my load all over this place when I whip it out for the world to see, and start wacking it off, and when I am done wacking it off and beating it off all over your face, there is going to be a couple images you are going to be seeing...One...
:Joey snaps his fingers and a large inflatable penis inflates next time him:
And second is My Stache,My Chest, and My Hands Holding that HWL World Heavyweight Championship high above my head, and above your body, because TC I have come a long way, I have been "The Indy Guy", I have been "The Viral Guy", and now I am ONE Match,ONE MATCH away TC from becoming what I always wanted to be, What Impact wrestling prevented me from being, and what HWL Is not going to prevet me from doing this time around, and what I am going to become TC is...
"The Guy"!
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Ciampa
Step One. Elias. Emasculated.
Step Two. Cole. Emasculated.
Step Three. Ziggler. Emasculated.
Step Three was rather startling. It took no words.
It allowed me to see confidence again. It allowed me to feel again. As I have said, The Black Heart Beats.
Step Four. The Final Step.
Toxic Masculinity at its absolute finest.
Joey Ryan.
I must say pal, I am impressed.
I have watched you. I have waited for my day. My time. My moment. With you.
Take this not as advance Mister Ryan, take this not as anything sexual. Please excuse me, I am taken. However, you have the biggest lesson of them all to learn.
Learn where to place your emotions.
You are too spirited son. Too emotional. Over, of all things, penises.
Dong Style is the equivalent of a poor Dad joke.
Your emasculation occurs at Inauguration.
Believe.
Last edited by Rossetti (7/18/2019 11:34 am)
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* Renee Young is sitting down at a fancy table with a tea cup and tea pot on it as a hand reaches over and pours some tea into Renee's cup the camera pans over and its Nikki Cross dressed up in what looks to be a southern bell outfit a beautiful dress and a hat to boot it even looks like she did something special to her hair*
Young: Nikki, I'm loving the new you!
* Cross starts laughing and in a weird British accent - for some reason - she follows up with*
Cross: Spot of tea?
* She continues to laugh and repeat that question*
Young: Well of course!
* They both grab their cups and Nikki grabs Renee's hand and pulls her pinky out as she does the same and takes a chug she laughs*
Cross: Proper Lady!
* Still in the British accent she laughs*
Young: But down to business Nikki. You have advanced to the final round of the HWL Women's Championship tournament where you will take on Kelly Klien and Lacey Evans with the winner becoming the first ever HWL Womens Champion. What is going through your mind right now?
Cross: PLAY! LET NIKKI PLAY!
* She begins to slam the table with her two fists and then stops, like shes talking to herself*
Cross: Not lady like..... no no no not lady like at all no.....
* Renee looks a little uneasy as she takes another gulp of her tea*
Cross: MORE?
* Renee looks at her cup and the uneasy look in her face subsides*
Young: Yes Please!
* Cross leans over with the tea pot but as she does she knocks her own cup over spilling the tea all over the table and when she notices that she starts to pour the tea onto Renee's hand by accident as Renee screams Nikki becomes more unstable she then throws the tea pot across the room and starts bashing her hands on te table. Renee Young looks on in fear as Nikki Cross flips the table and runs screaming out of the room. Renee looks down at the table and a message is scratched into the bottom of it. It reads.....*
Message: Lacey Lacey.... I'm so glad you made it Lacey..... Lacey Lacey we finally get to play Lacey..... your right..... Lacey Lacey.... that third competitor doesn't matter Lacey. Iv'e been wanting to play with you for a long time Lacey.... Lacey Lacey are you scared yet Lacey? Playtime and fight time are one in the same to me Lacey..... don't you see Lacey..... Lacey Lacey don't you see what is fun to me Lacey! DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT I SAID LACEY! DON'T YOU REMEMBER..... when I said I was going to throw you off a ten story building Lacey? Don't you remember LACEY! DON'T YOU REMEMBER when I said I was going to serve your head on a silver platter? We can still do all of that Lacey.... PLEASE LACEY! LET ME BE YOUR FRIEND.... LACEY LET NIKKI PLAY!!!!!!!!
*The camera cuts*
Last edited by shubz (7/18/2019 8:31 pm)
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:The camera shows Lacey Evans in an empty Parking Lot outside the HWL Arena:
"The Lady of HWL" Lacey Evans
Nikki Nikki Nikki, in some strange way, Im flattered because imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I will say that your first attempt at being a "Lady" is an A for effort, but an F for execution, and besides you trying to be a lady is like putting lipstick on a pig darling. Honey theres thats invitation you are always throwing around "Play with you!", honey I have told you before that this lady dont play, and honesy if you want to play I am going to show you where people like you play with the help of a good friend of mine...
:JOEY RYAN Walks into frame:
With the Help of my Good Friend here Mr. Ryan he is going to show everyone where Little Girls like you are supposed to be "Playing", am I right Mr. Ryan?
:Ryan Places his arm around Lacey:
Joey Ryan:You are sur...
Lacey: Please dont touch me...
:Joey quickly removes his arm:
Joey:Yes Ma'am
Lacey: Mr. Ryan if you could show the world where little girls like Nikki who want to play are supposed to play...
:Joey Ryan snaps his fingers and then a LARGE inflatable BOUNCE HOUSE inflates behind Lacey Evans:
Lacey:You see this right here? You want to "Play" Nikki? This is where girls who want to play go, this should seem familiar to you, when you were younger im sure when you wanted to play this is where you would go, where as when I was young, I was already sophisticated, I was in Fifth Grade reading on a ninth grade level, while you were eating dirt, I was learning to cook...
While you "Play" inside of this, the ring is my equivalent to your Bounce House, and a week from Saturday, I am going to do what I set out to do and that is become the HWL Womens Champion when I turn your "Playtime" into "fight time" and I am going to give you Twisted Sister this Womens Right...and darling let me assure you that we will never be friends, and there will never be a place for you at my tea table!
:Lacey walks away and takes off her brooch and as she walks away pokes a hole in the bounce house,the air deflates as lacey walks off:
Last edited by QuinnMallory (7/18/2019 9:44 pm)
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:The King of Dong Style: Joey Ryan
Oh TC...
:Joey removes the sucker from his mouth and places it in his tights and gives it a little pat:
TC You HAVE reached the Final Step,You HAVE Waited for your time, you HAVE waited for your moment, but TC you havent waited as long as me, You werent mistreated by a national company and treated as joke,and when I went back to the indys I became one of the most talked about guys, became one of the most viral guys..
You know the jazz..
The Black Heart Beats,The Black Blood pumps through it,The Black veins supply the heart, and TC a week from Saturday, I am going to Pinch your veins,Stop your blood....and finally have to metaphorically rip out your heart in route to becoming the HWL World Heavyweight Champion. TC The worlds most famous Adult Star Mia Khalifa took a shot trying to emasculate me, and NUH UH, didnt happen.
So you TC trying to emasculate me,isnt going to happen either, I dont need any sex jokes, I dont need any innuendos right now,I just need me,Eye to Eye...
:Joey takes off his sunglasses:
TC Bully Ray, Underestimated Me. Brian Cage Underestimated Me.Some people will say that you just slid your way to the finals ir even lucked your ways to the finals where as I actually had to dk work to get to the finals, I had to go up against Fatty Ray and Frankenstein to get here, and damn it TC You...
Joey then quickly claps his hands and pats himself on the back:
Arent going to stop me when I am this close to getting what I called my shot for...A week from Sunday...
:Joeys places his glasses back on,and takes his sucker out of his tights and places it back in his mouth:
I stop the Black heart,and become HWL World Champion....
:Joey then mocks Tomasso's Wave as the camera fades:
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:The camera shows a screen with outer space showing with many stars and planets showing,then Morgan Freeman walks into frame:
Morgan Freeman:
Now those stars up there in the sky have staying power. You can always count on them. You can always look up and know they'll be there for me. The stars on Earth burn out too quickly. They have a moment where they shine so bright but then poof. They're gone. A memory. Sometimes not even that. But with the stars in the sky, You know they'll be there night after night, always there for me to make a wish. You make wishes all the time. You look for the first star each night and say...
"Star light star bright, first star I see tonight... I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight..." You always make the same wish, but You can't say what it is. Then it might not come true. You really want it too. It would change Your life. So you go to wishing wells with lucky pennies... Those pennies you find that people have lost... Unlucky for them... Lucky for you... Then you toss them in the wishing well in front of the old museum. And you toss them in the fountain at the mall...
Each time making your wish. Have you ever wanted anything that badly in your life? So badly that you can't imagine your future without it? You would be so sad if your life wasn't different... If things didn't change... If you were still stuck here... In this life. But you won't stop wishing... You just can't...
You don't want to be left with nothing... You want some meaning... A reason things in your life turned out this way. You want this suffering to be worth while.
And Soon he will be here to make it all worth while!
:Freeman steps aside and and a set of red eyes light up in the stars and a slight laugh is heard and a voice is heard:
Soon...Face The Strange!
Last edited by QuinnMallory (7/19/2019 12:14 pm)
* We see cameras backstage from after Overdrive #3 as Austin Aries is walking backstage through the ramp and sees TJ Perkins. He immediately high fives him and hugs him. *
AA: I'm glad you show up. Didn't expect things to come out like that. Very smoothly.
TJ: What do you expect from me? Just a showboat. Nah. I did what you ask me. And I delivered. Now, Buddy Murphy is riding back seats, while you have all the spotlight to yourself. Thanks to me.
AA: Yes, you did. And you finally nailed that coffin shut between me and Buddy Murphy. But now onto pressing matter and that's the Cruiserweight Title match between me and PAC.
* TJP looks confused about the name. *
TJ: Don't you mean Neville?
AA: Now he changed it to that....don't know if it's any late reference towards 2Pac or what....
TJP:....it doesn't matter what he's name is to us. All that matter is that your on top of the mountain. And that you two have a long storied history amongst yourself that will be settle at Inauguration next Saturday.
AA: yes sir. Me and Pac Boy go way back to our rivalry at Wrestlemania 33. But I'm a changed man from 2 years ago. Cause you can't just overlook into the past for what me and PAC have done. I've beaten both a midget Italian and a roided Aussie to get this far. This will not slip from my grasp. Not now.
* TJ gives a pat on his shoulder and says *
TJ: It won't. Cause you see Austin Aries is in route to the greatest cruiserweight reign in all of sports entertainment. And all Double A needs to do is to double up and shut down the King of Cruiserweight...then everyone will know Austin Aries as....
* Austin Aries extends his hand saying *
AA:....THE GREATEST MAN....THAT HAS EVER LIVED. Mr. Double A.....
AUSTIN ARIES.
TJ: YOU DAMN RIGHT ARIES.
AA: And PAC, that crown of King you have....is coming to me. And your reign will end by my hands. Rest assure of that.....your royal highness. Cause once I step into the ring with you and meet you face to face.....
TJP: ....IT'S GAMEEEE OVERRRRR!!
* TJP gives a quick dab as both Double A and TJP heads towards the locker room talking amongst themselves. Camera fades away. *
Last edited by Th3Rickst3r (7/20/2019 9:25 am)
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Ciampa
Oh Joey, of course I know the jazz. I spent many a years on the independents. I once had to stand as a "lawyer" on behalf of a character that was borderline racist at best.
I have been on the joke path pal.
Its not fun. Alas, I made it.
Why do you think you are treated the way you are Joey?
Maybe its your hygiene? The crotch pops are, well, bizarre. I cannot imagine they taste very good. That, and I would think a grown man would take better care of what they put in their system then that.
Maybe its the inflatable penises? What are you doing? What is it you want people to know about you Joey?
I so hope you figure it out because you do have the capacity to be decent, classy, and not the epitome of refractory.
Your emasculation is near. It is what you need.
Believe.
The Black Heart Beats.