(Heavy Machinery)

(Tucker)

You know what kind of wrestlers sue another wrestler for something that happens in the ring?

(Otis)

Pantywastes, that's who.

(Tucker)

Exactly. And particularly when they're two people who tend to play fast and loose with the rules, who try to steal somebody else's Money in the Bank contract and have been known to attack a few guys from the behind and leave them laying in their day?

(Otis, pacing angrily)

Hypocrites!

(Tucker)

One hundred percent right. Miz and Morrison might as well be the scum of the Earth. They've done nothing but poke and prod and bully the locker room for the past year. They must not have learned their lesson when they poked the bear leading up to their meetings with Braun Strowman this past summer.

You know what they say, those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. There's a name for people like that, that knowingly push forward and fail to heed their past mistakes. It's on the tip of my tongue.

(Otis)

Dummies!

(Eli Drake appears)

Hey, watch it, you two dummies. That's my line. So, unless you want to catch another lawsuit, you'll not be infringing on my gimmick.

(Tucker)

Easy, Eli. He didn't mean nothing by it. We're all friends here. Let's just keep this focused on Miz and Morrison.

(Drake leaves, making a motion that he's got his eyes on them.)

(Otis)

Oops.

(Tucker)

Yeah, oops. You've got to be careful about that kind of stuff, buddy.

Anyway, I don't know what kind of ambulance chaser you two got to defend you, probably that hack David Otunga, but they're going to find out real fast that your case doesn't hold water.

You taunted Otis for months and deserved everything you got and then some. Plus, what happens in that ring, even outside of the bounds of a match, is legally fair game. Otherwise, half the roster would be in jail for assault.

(Otis)

Wearing the pinstripes. (Singing) He's in the jail house now, oh he's in the jail house now.

(Tucker)

We get it, buddy. Point proven. The fact of the matter is you have as much chance of wrestling away the Money in the Bank contract from Otis in court as you've had in winning a match in the past six months.

Apart from last Wednesday's battle royal, the last time either of you won a match was at Wrestlemania. Both of those matches had something in common, didn't they, Otis.

(Otis)

Um... I don't know. I was in the can both times.

(Tucker)

That's alright, buddy. So was pretty much everybody else.

But I happen to know that what both of those matches had in common was that John Morrison did all the work.

At Wrestlemania, Morrison won a triple threat ladder match all on his own. In the battle royal, Morrison had to do all the work after Miz got himself eliminated right away.

Then, when Miz's turn came to defend the Tag Team titles on his own in a Triple Threat singles match, he lost the titles that Morrison worked his ass off to retain.

There's a certain term people use to describe what Miz is to this team, isn't there buddy.

(Otis)

He's the WEAKEST LINK... (British accent) Goodbye.

(Tucker)

Good one, but watch the copyright stuff again. We don't need NBC coming after us too.

But yes, Miz is obviously the weak link in this team, a team that hasn't had a very good track record against us this summer, now have they?

(Otis)

Nope.

(Tucker)

They sure haven't. Why should we expect anything different this time around. Because they can talk to Ric Flair or anybody else from Evolution? Having running buddies to watch their back and their own personal sensei didn't help The Briscoes and Eden's Gate when they came up against us, and it isn't going to help the two of you either.

(Otis)

(Singing) That don't impress me much, oh, no, no.

(Tucker)

Again? You have to watch it, buddy. Now we have to watch out for Shania Twain too.

We better wrap this up pretty quick before half the entertainment industry is on our asses with cease and desist orders.

(Otis)

Sorry.

(Tucker)

It's okay, buddy. You be you. And come Sunday, Miz and Morrison are going to be them and do what they've done best for the past six months...

(Otis)

LOSE!

(Heavy Machinery)

(Tucker)

See, just like we said. For sombody that made such a big deal about being called "dummies" last week, you guys are awful quick to go right to the bullying. Let's see here - clowns... tub of lard... calling the kids watching at home dumb.

If we had a big sign that flashed every time somebody was being hypocritical, it would be blinking for all its worth every time they put the two of you on TV. We'd have to be on the backup generator with the amount of energy that sucker would be using up.

Say what you want about us. We can take it. We have broad backs that can carry that weight and we've heard it all our lives. But you leave the little machines watching at home alone.

(Otis)

HOME ALONE!

(Tucker)

Well, no, buddy. They're not home alone. They're watching at home. Miz and Morrison need to leave them out of it.

(Otis)

Well, that's good. They shouldn't be left alone.

(Tucker)

But we see what your real passion is and it's hosting a talk show. If you guys were any good at it, you'd have a show on a network somewhere by now. But Miz TV has been nothing but fodder for the fast forward button since the invention of the DVR.

That dandy little thing has rendered Miz completely irrelevant to any actual WRESTLING fan because given the option, who isn't going to just skip right over the Miz?

(Otis)

But then when are they going to go pee?

(Tucker)

Whenever they want, big guy. If there's something happening that they don't want to miss, they can just hit the pause button and go whenever they want.

(Otis)

OH! That's good. And it's always funny when Mandy fast forwards past Miz TV. The segment just flies by and you can see his little gums flapping around trying to talk, but we don't have to hear any of it. It's just the best.

(Tucker)

I know it is, buddy. That DVR is a life-saver. You can skip advertisements. You can skip Miz's irrelevant monologues, Morrison's... actually Morrison is usually kind of entertaining. Now, if he did his own segments, he might have something going there.

I mean, they say it's a no go and they're staying together, but a little Barber Shop window action might not be the worst thing in the world for Morrison.

(Otis)

Yeah, baby. Cuttin' and a struttin'. Brutus the Barber!

(Tucker)

I mean, it did wonders for Shawn Michaels' career. That's who Morrison wants to be when he grows up, right? Someday?

But oh well, I don't call the shots around here. And despite what Miz says about suggesting it being a tactic based in fear, that's just asinine. The suggest comes from a place of common sense and concern for a talented performer choosing to play second fiddle to a waste of good air time.

(Otis)

You can't help him, bro. He has to want to help himself.

(Tucker)

I mean, if we were going to be scared of any tag team around here, wouldn't it be The Briscoes? They're some pretty bad dudes most of the time, especially with the attitudes they have now. But we already beat the Briscoes. Heck, we already beat the World Heavyweight Champion, along with Jake Hager.

(Otis)

Don't forget The Pope.

(Tucker)

I mean, he was there, but do we really want to brag about beating The Pope?

(Otis)

Hey, man. That's a big deal in the Catholic community.

(Tucker)

He's not the real pope, man.

(Otis)

Oh, maybe I shouldn't feel so bad about beating him up then.

(Tucker)

You don't need to feel bad at all, big guy. We helped our buddy Eddie get his revenge and like I was saying, those guys we beat from Eden's Gate were way tougher than Miz and Morrison could ever be in their wildest dreams. They're a little misguided, but they still gave us a run for our money.

(Otis clutches his Money in the Bank lunchbox close to his chest at the mention of money.)

(Tucker)

Don't worry, big guy. That contract is going to be safe too, just like these tag team championships.

One last thing to leave you two with. If you were up on any pop culture at all, you'd know that Charlie Sheen's whole thing about "Winning" came right before a colossal career downspike. He lost his job and came out as having HIV. He held on for as long as he could with that FX show right after Two and a Half Men, but that only lasted a couple of season and has he done anything at all since? Maybe a couple of guest spots here and there.

But go ahead, Tiger Bloods, and hitch your wagons to that star. And you call our references outdated? At least ours are on point.

You want the last word, buddy?

(Otis)

SORRY, ABOUT YOUR... (Interrupted by Tucker)

(Tucker)

NOPE. Can't do that one. You were doing so good about watching out for the copyright stuff too.

Anyway, see you again soon.

"Faith" (Allie)

~Allie is sitting on a rock in her white dress writing in a notebook as some of the other followers are moving canoe's around others eat and laugh~

Allie: Dear diary,

What a great journey this has been. Daddy is proud of me. Not only for this trip, not only for my title match at Fall Brawl, but for how much I have developed since becoming his "Faith". 

I have learned so much from him and he has shown me the true light. I now have a family of people who care about me and this Saturday at Fall Brawl I shall show them my greatest triumph. 

I still do have pain in my life, for I do not see things the way that Daddy does. I still think that everybody can be saved, such as in the way we saved a broken Candice LeRae, the same way we saved "The Legend of Jake Hager", the same way that he saved me. I do not wish to hurt Mickie James this Saturday at Fall Brawl, but I do fear that Mickie will not give me a choice but to strike her with every inch of my soul. 

For Mickie represents everything that is dark in this world. Mickie James represents the fox that stole our food bag the other night when we we're staying on Lost Joe lake. The fox that Daddy made me chase after and kill with my own bare hands. You see Daddy knew that Brother Drew could do it, he also knew that The Briscoe Brothers could do it. But he needed me to learn what it was to be strong. Daddy needs me to go into war on Saturday night and take what is rightfully ours, and more important what's rightfully mine.   

Mickie represents everything that is dark in this world and I represent everything that is light. But sometimes, the light needs to go into the darkness to take hold of what the darkness has that is theirs. 

As I sit on this rock, I stare out across the calm cool water and I realize that this is what Daddy has been talking about this whole time. Peace....... Peace that we can only acquire by stomping out all of the darkness... all of the sinners. 

Mickie we have given you the choice just like all the others, and just like all the others you have decided to spit in our face. But Mickie just as Cody Rhodes will not hold us back, and Darby Allin will not hold us back, you will not hold us back. This Saturday at Fall Brawl Mickie, we will rise..... and all of you sinners will fall.......

~She closes her notebook and hops up skipping away following the last members of Eden's Gate down the portage as the camera cuts~

(Mickie James)

Oh, dear sweet sugarplum.

They've sure done a number on you, haven't they? Emptying out that simple little head of yours and filling it with Marty. Marty for breakfast. Marty for lunch. Marty for dinner. Marty all the time. He's like your own personal Brady sister. But instead of Marsha, it's all about Marty, Marty, Marty.

You don't even have enough individuality and self-thought left in you to focus just on the Women's World Championship match this Saturday. Instead, you're out here banging the drum for Marty and Drew too. Tell me, though, what does Braxton think about you helping them warm their beds at night, little darlin'?

I can see where this is ultimately going though, sweet cheeks. You want to play the crazy card on me. See, you think you know what it's like to be twisted and broken. All the pretty little girls think that when things do come as easy for them in life as they did in high school.

But honey, you don't want to go down that road with me. A lot of girls have tried to play that game before you and it didn't end well for any of them. You know why that is, Allie? Or Faith? Or whichever one you think you are now.

It's because like you, they liked to play at being crazy. They all thought it was big fun. They got a laugh out it, got their kicks and maybe even thought it gave them some kind of an edge. But it didn't with me.

The reason why? It's because I was the only one that wasn't just "playing". Nobody can obsess like I can. Nobody can focus like I can. Nobody can do crazy like I can because I'm not putting on a face for the camera. This isn't checkers. I'm not playing a game. What you see is what you get.

This is just me with my real hair and my real face and my real tits. Even my real name. I don't believe you can say any of that with an ounce of truth, can you Allie? But the most real thing about me is just how much better I am at wrestling than every other girl that gets in the ring with me.

I don't know what Marty's told you, but having the best sit atop the division and bring in a better class of challengers all summer - that's good for the HWL. It's good for me. It's good for the girls in Evolution. It's good for Asuka and Kairi. It's even good for you.

If you really want to know the way to lead the HWL down the wrong path, the surest way to do it is to look in the mirror at what you and the rest of Eden's Gate are trying to do. You're not trying to make the HWL better. You're just trying to subjugate everyone here, and all in the name of Father Candy Van and his off the grid compound.

Everyone can see through it except for the weak-minded few Marty has already managed to pull into his orbit. But you know, if you want to keep your eyes wide shut, that's your business. Just don't think for a second it's going to help you get past me, honey. Better women than you have tried. Better women than you will try again once this is through.

I'm still driving this train. I've taken us into brighter days in the women's division and if you want it to stay that way, then the best thing you can do is to just sit back and keep on enjoying the ride.

Miz and Morrison watch Heavy Machinery in stunned silence…then suddenly burst into laughter
 
Morrison- ARE THEY SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!  WE’RE THE BULLIES?!
 
Miz- Oh wait wait wait Morrison, how about copying our censoring?!  Or better yet comparing us to Shawn Michaels and Marty Janetty…like oh my god you’re like the 1000th person to use that comparison, BE ORIGINAL.  We’ve been up and down the block so many times we’ve heard it all…at least be original.
 
Morrison- By the way…that FX TV Show with Charlie Sheen they forgot…it’s called Anger Management and it was actually…not that bad.  Also, you had to bring up the HIV?  Low blow there guys, but WE’RE THE BULLIES.  If you actually have ever listened to us talk since we arrived here in HWL, you would’ve already known, WE ADMIT WE’RE ASSHOLES.  We don’t hide who we are, the more you bullshit who you are, the less fun you have.  Quite honestly I’ve had more fun here in HWL than I’ve had in WWE since I returned there.  Maybe it’s the Evolution effect…Ric Flair allowing us to actually have individual goals while achieving our collective goal.  I gotta say, Ric Flair isn’t the best in this business for nothing because by god that’s a brilliant team strategy.
 
Miz- Look Heavy Machinery, if anyone is the bully here it’s you two clowns.  You stand on top of the mountain as the “good guys”, but in reality you’ve been mocking us from the start, hell you went as far as disrespecting your opponents compared to past opponents.  What are we not good enough to challenge for your titles?  Oh I’m sorry we’re not the almighty Heavy Machinery.  You wanna act all tough and funny with all your jokes and pranks but Morrison and I see right through your dumb charade.  You two are the bullies.  You don’t think anyone is good enough to challenge for your titles and that just because of who you are, you’ll just find a way to win.  I’ve got a newsflash for you guys, this isn’t the same Miz and Morrison you’re used to seeing.  You see Evolution changed us.  We feel empowered to do what we want to do.  We feel like Morrison said…yourselves.  Sure we’re clearly Grade A assholes, but at the end of the day I’d rather be a Grade A asshole than a fake ass poser.  I’ll never deny, I’m not the most gifted wrestler in the ring and I know damn well who’s talking through you two on that one.  But here’s the beauty of it all that neither of you are smart enough to comprehend…I’m that much better than everyone else in everything else I do.  I do enough in the ring, but more importantly I rarely miss a day, I dedicate myself to this business, I honor this business, but most important of all I can still put butts in the seats after all the criticism people say about me and even after all this time.  Maybe…just maybe, I am what I’ve said I am this whole time…Awesome.  What a mind blowing concept.
 
Morrison- Miz…bro, you literally just blew my mind with that.  That’s why I’m honored to be not just your Tag Team partner, but your best friend.  When Heavy Machinery talk about me going solo, I find it appalling, I mean the fact that they’re still going on about it…they really want to find a way to steal this match and hope to break us up and never face us again.  How scared can you get?  This is why they’re so vicious to us, this is why they’re the bullies.  They want to scare us and break the greatest tag team ever up.  Nice try guys again…but you failed once more.  Huh, it’s like you’re losing the battle the break us up.  Maybe it’s a sign of your future as HWL Tag Team Champions?  Those titles aren’t safe and you need to start accepting that.  Evolution has asked us to take those belts back.  This goes beyond just us, it’s about saving HWL and I get it, it’s a broken record, but did anyone see how pathetic Overdrive was?  I heard a rumor it was the lowest rated Overdrive in history.
 
Miz- I did see it…only to see Alexa Bliss and MJF completely dominate in their matches showing how powerful Evolution is.
 
Morrison- You see you guys…Evolution is growing.  If there was a headline to be made from Overdrive it’s that Evolution is going to start to take over HWL at Fall Brawl.  It starts with us taking those Tag Team Titles, then Evolution will win War Games.  After Fall Brawl we will hold 2 of the 5 HWL Championships.  The only way HWL can be saved is if we get all 5.  Then and only then, HWL can restart in the vision of Evolution, with the eye towards the future.
 
Miz- Guys…can we clip that for the War Games promo because by god Morrison, that was BRILLIANCE.
 
Morrison- I appreciate that Miz, one can thank my brilliant acting career for that moment.
 
Miz- Otis…Tucker.  You can babble on all you want with your stupid little jokes, it only proves our point.  There’s nothing special about you guys.
 
Morrison- The only one who actually saw anything was Vince McMahon but that old fart wouldn’t know talent anymore if it literally hit him in the head.  And the only reason you are Tag Team Champs now is because Evolution wouldn’t sign our contracts until we felt HWL truly deserved saving.  If we had signed right away, either you’d be fortunate enough to challenge us and we’d welcome that challenge with the respect it deserves…unlike what you’ve shown.  Or, most likely we would’ve already beaten you and you’d be at the back of the line.  Miz and I have never been more locked in together than we have been the past few weeks here in HWL.  This isn’t the same team you know…you better wake up now or before you know it, we’ll be taking those belts from you and you’ll be at the back of the line.  Time’s ticking gentlemen, at Fall Brawl, we’re coming for those Tag Team Championships, and you aren’t stopping us…
 
Miz- CAUSE WE ARE…
 
Morrison- AWESOME.