(Heavy Machinery)


(Tucker) 

Let's take a good look at the track record for the followers of "Father Marty" shall we?

Sure, Marty has himself a spot in the the World Heavyweight Championship match on Saturday, but what good has he really done for his followers?

Did his guidance help Drew Gulak win the Cruiserweight Championship?

(Otis)

Nope!

(Tucker)

Did he help Allie get a shot at the Women's World Championship?

(Otis)

Nothin' Doin', Tucky!

(Tucker)

So what makes The Briscoes think that following this hack is going to take them anywhere? "Father Marty's" band of Kool-Aid sippers are 0-2 so far. I'd be doing everything I could to distance myself from this guy. While he's got his own affairs in order, he's not really a leader that's managed to instill too much confidence in his guidance so far.

It's almost as if he's only using all these people for his own personal gain while giving them nothing in return.

(Otis)

Dickhead!

(Tucker)

You know what, I'm not even going to ask you to tone it down on that one. He absolutely is a Dickhead. Among other things.

The Jay and Mark Briscoe that went all around the world and won championships just about everywhere they went would never be followers like this. That's why I said the two of you aren't the same.

This is a different Briscoe brothers than we've ever seen before. Normally, that might be a scary thing because you used to be two pretty badass dudes.

That's just not the case any more. Now, you're part of Marty's crew and no matter what fancy new clothes he has picked out for you, he's leading you nowhere that you want to go. And the fact that you're just allowing him to lead you around like a couple of lost little sheep, what's happened to you that made you lose yourselves?

(Otis)

Panty-wastes!

(Tucker)

Oh, jeez, buddy. Not far off the mark, but that's just a little impolite to say.

(Otis shrugs)

If the shoe fits, Tucky.

(Tucker)

Anyway, as badass as the Briscoes have been the past, and I emphasize the world PAST, there's one thing that's tended to give you guys trouble in your run in ROH. You plow through team after team, but a lot of the teams you've seen over there have been, shall we say a bit... diminuative.

(Otis)

Malnourished!

(Tucker)

Maybe not the right term, buddy. These guys were small, but healthy.

(Otis)

Dwarves! Midgets! Little People!

(Tucker)

No, not that either. These were just smaller guys, Cruiserweights.

When push comes to shove and you get in the ring with the big boys, guys like PCO and Brody King for example, that's when you've tended to kiss your tag titles bye bye.

So, keep cracking fat jokes. Live it up. Maybe it'll help you bury your insecurities about it a little bit deeper.

Just know that when you get in the ring with a couple of full-sized boys like us and all this weight crashes down on you, history has kinda proven that that's when you're going to push off from the table and fold.

When that happens, what's that going to make us, Otis?

(Otis, girating and pumping his fist)

New champs, Tucky! New champs! BOOM-SHACKALOO!

(Tucker)

Easy, big fella. We haven't won anything yet.

Tomorrow. Quack quack and grab your blankies, boys.

It's time to go to work.

* Bray Wyatt *

Did you miss me? Yowie wowie. I've missed you all so much. But let's talk about what everyone is wondering about.....and that is where oh where is David Arquette. Don't worry folks. He's in REALLY good hands now. Especially after that fiasco he pulled up at MegaClash. Craazyyyyy I tell you.

Speaking of crazy. I have a match against The interdimensional warrior, known as Matt Hardy. And him and I, have gotten....acquainted with one another. Luckily for him, The Fiend will be busy playing with Mr. Arquette back at the Fun House. So the good news is that you'll get good ol jolly Bray Wyatt. In the flesh nonetheless. So Matt, you can dish all the pain you want and hit me as much as you want.

Just remember that I'll take it all. You have my solemn word. Scout's honor. Yowie wowie. Can't wait for Sunday. Until then. Bye. Bye now. Don't be a stranger. Bye bye now.

Finn Balor

*Scene opens up to a black screen. A light flashes on, and we see Balor sitting on a stool, World title on his shoulder*

FB: All week, people have been asking my where abouts. They been asking where the champion is, why isn’t the champion speaking his mind about the match tomorrow night. Just because im not here, speaking infront of a camera every day, doesn’t mean im not around. Im a champion who shows his actions in the ring, its why im the world champion to begin with.

People question me joining nWo and becoming the leader. You see, everything in my wrestling career, people have judged and asked about. While I travelled around the world, winning gold by gold, I was told that I wasn’t championship material. Just like JBL told us this past week. I shouldn’t be the Champion …because of my demon, but I do recall you always running away from a Boogeyman.  I make the boogeyman look like a Disney plus character JBL.

All my life, ive been proving everyone wrong. I fought the hard fight and always came out ontop. If you want some proof of that, ask everyone in JBLs little cabnet. All have suffered defeats by me.

Tomorrow night, Ill leave the arena the same way I came in… As the world champion.

Im not here to make America great again….

Im here to make Wrestling Great Again.

*Scene ends *

(Darby Allin)

Ric Flair and Johnny Gargano want to throw my name around and hide off in their own private space.

Well, if there’s one way to get over in this business, everybody knows the way to do it is to smack talk everything going on in the company you decided to be a part of, sort of, and then be too chicken shit to ever show up and back it up.

It’s easy to talk big when you don’t have any skin in the game.

I live for having skin in the game. I’m here. I’m now. I’m what’s happening. What you think about it is irrelevant until you grow a set and come do something about it, Johnny.

Or are you too hen-pecked to leave the PC and come put your money where your mouth is?

Back to the matter at hand. The fact that I’m here and have skin in the game - that’s really bad news for you TJ.

Instead of dealing with a human sloth or any other from a long list of one lacksidaical opponent after another, you actually have to deal with someone who is invested this time. You actually have to deal with someone who wants this fight, who legitimately wants that gold and who is willing to go to whatever heights to get it.

That makes things not look so good for you, doesn’t it? How’s it feel? Knowing it could all be slipping away? Thinking about how I might stuff you in one of my body bags and drop you into oblivion?

No video games ever prepared you for that, did they?

I’m comfortable with my mortality. I’m at home lying zipped up in a body bag. Are you, TJ? Can you process that potentiality? Is it causing you a little bit of stress?

Good. It should be.

I don’t want to tell you to Rest In Peace, TJ, because that’s somebody else’s thing. That’s not really what I have envisioned for you anyway.

Instead, Rest in Torment, TJ. See you tomorrow.

~Marty Scurll is in his church after the days sermons, he clothes the book staring into it he clenches his fists as the sun begins setting~

Scurll: Finn..... You don't need to do this. Finn if you just follow me I will vanquish all of our foes and you will walk WITH the HWL World Heavyweight Champion Marty Scurll, onto the gates of Eden. Fiin, I keep trying to tell you that you are much more efficient as a follower then a leader. Everything gets bigger then you and you get forgotten. Is that not heart breaking for you? Do you not see that Eden's Gate is excepting of your kind. Finn, I implore you as your Father that you do not trust the ways of Kevin Nash.

He Kevin Nash, the very same that referred to our kind as "Vanilla Midgets." We must vanquish those who oppose us Finn. 

~Marty looks up to the ceiling seeming to be listening to someone~

Scurll: Yes Father......

~Scurll lights some candles near the altar he is standing at~

Scurll: Finn, the Lord agrees! You are yet worth saving! You shall repent and confess your sins to me. You shall become one of my loyal children Finn Balor. You will strip the sinns of your "demon" and join me at the gates of Eden. Finn, we can lead you to happiness.... we can lead you to the bliss. I can lead you.... I will lead you..... and if not..... if you choose to defy.... you shall be culled..... if you choose to defy Finn Balor..... YOU SHALL FEAL THE WRATH OF THE FATHER!

~In seemingly a second Marty finishes that line and the candles blow out. The camera cuts~